SURPRISE YOU'RE DEAD

[cyan_maid]

Who: Jane Crocker and Max (OC, Airlocked R1)
Where: Deadland
When: TIME IS MEANINGLESS WHEN YOU'RE DEAD
Open/Closed: Closed
Rated: M for being dead and miserable and suicidal
What: Airlocked R1 AU - What if Jane died? TIME TO MEET THE CHAMPION PORTRAIT ARTIST

[...Well. Hell is a boardwalk in Florida. Who knew? Not Jane, at least - and not that she'd ever been to Florida to know that it's usually not as dilapidated. But hey, you don't choose where you go when you die.

At least, if you're lucky, you can choose how you go.

She'd gotten desperate, panicked. Frightened. And if her memories were anything to go by, it didn't really matter if she died, right? She was a walking corpse to begin with. There wasn't any use in sticking around...and, at least, no one would be thrown out of the airlock this week. Everyone would be safe for a little while longer. It was fine. Totally fine. Laying in this gritty, cool sand? Super fine. Hearing the ocean ebb and crash on the beach? Awesomely fine.]

...

[Jane spits a little sand out of her mouth.]

This...is a lot less fine than I thought it would be.

Comments

[cyan_maid]

...[A shrug.] I guess if I find out something, you'll be the first to know. What with being king of Deadland, Florida and all.

[theundertaken]

[He chuckles slightly.]

I prefer King of Hell. I earned it, I beat Satan Mask in armed combat. And I was here first, so really it's mine anyway.

[cyan_maid]

[...Well that answers one question she didn't know she needed to ask.]

Honestly, he has no claim to fight you over it. Finder's keepers, and all that.

[theundertaken]

I don't know if he would. I just bury him when he starts getting annoying.

[He sighs and starts pushing himself upright.] Ffffffuck, I used to know how to be an actual host. You wanna tour or something?

I've been waiting for you to use that icon :B

[cyan_maid]

[Jane lets out a huff of laughter at that. Good plan, don't give the satan mask a single inch. He'll take miles.]

It's not like I expected a host after death. A...tour would be interesting, if you're up to it.

\o/

[theundertaken]

I'm the - [He snorts] - I'm the Ghost Host. Fuck, we should've been stuck at Disney.

[He starts to rise again, brushing the sand off his skin.]

Might as well. It'll eat up maybe an hour of our eternity of suffering. C'mon, Wilson. [He grabs Wilson. Wilson is coming.]

[cyan_maid]

[Wilson is more than welcome, this is his Hell Kingdom as well.]

Ooh, spooky.

[Getting up to follow, this should be hella.]

[theundertaken]

[Wilson is the Prince of Hell.

Max leads the way up the stairs, gesturing to a white crime-scene outline of a body at the top.]

That's where I respawn. Always just like that, doesn't matter what I'm positioned like when I actually die. Uh, and here's the hotel. You can grab a room in there if you want, I did. We don't need to eat or sleep anymore, but sleeping passes the time - I did it a lot at first, but now my dreams are all fucked up.

[cyan_maid]

[She follows, looking at first at the spawn point - yeesh, so weird - and then at the hotel.]

...I didn't think the dead dreamed.

[theundertaken]

Sure. That and eating work pretty much the normal way, if you decide to bother with them.

[He wanders over to the coffee shop - something half-attached to the hotel, which looks like a Starbucks whose branding and logo has been ripped off every possible surface.]

Here's the coffee shop. There's coffee, I guess. [Also all the furniture is smashed and there's a really detailed painting of Jamie and Bolton on the wall.] Jay and B are here. They're good to talk to, if...talking to paintings is something you're gonna do.

[At least he still knows it's weird?]

[cyan_maid]

...I'm good on that front, I think. But perhaps I'll pay them a visit sometime.

[You are more than welcome to keep the talking paintings all to yourself.]

[theundertaken]

Give it time.

[Or not. She actually does have real human people to talk to.]

This is just a bar and grill. I took most of the booze already, but there's probably some stuff left inside? [He opens the door, revealing the restaurant to be full of mannequins with human faces painted onto them, posed like patrons and waitstaff.] At this point I don't think anybody cares if you drink.

[cyan_maid]

[She looks a little blankly at those mannequins.]

I'm actually...really inclined to not drink. I've gone through some bad experiences.

[theundertaken]

More for me.

[Max shrugs, waves goodbye to the hostess mannequin, and turns away again.]

I'll, uh. I'll try and tone it down around you. Didn't mean to be a total alcoholic, it just kinda happened.

[cyan_maid]

Oh, no, um, the alcoholic bit doesn't bother me. My best friend was pretty entrenched in liquor for quite some time - I just can't drink it myself. A, uh...a "bad trip" will do that to you, I suppose.

[theundertaken]

Mmmm. Yeah, I get it. Bolt's got stories.

[Nothing that put him off more drugs, evidently, but. Vegas. Max is leading the way off the boardwalk now, up the hill where the lighthouse stands.]

There's nothing much up here. Don't get too close to the lighthouse, there be monsters there. I just wanna show you how the fog works.

[cyan_maid]

[She happens to look up at the lighthouse.] I'm really not scared of any monsters. I've fought bigger.

[Though - wait, what?] How the fog...works?

cw: suicide mention

[theundertaken]

You can get eaten on your own time. I'm kinda trying to cut back on the killing myself thing. Or at least not do it so painfully...

Anyway, yeah! Stick close to me. Or don't, I guess? Just keep walking! [And Max starts walking into the thick fog beyond the lighthouse. If Jane doesn't keep close, he'll be impossible to see in a few moments.]

[cyan_maid]

[...Yeah that is not going to dissuade her. Let's go find a mop later Max, she'll show you how it's done.]

Just - right into the fog? But...

[Aaaaaand Jane does in fact lose him! What the fuck...]

[theundertaken]

She's fuckin' gone, isn't she, Wilson?

[When he realizes she's not with him anymore, Max takes a moment to retrace his steps. One second there's nothing but fog, and then his shape becomes visible again.]

Oh good, you're still here! That's a big strike against you being a hallucination, you know. C'mon, it's safe, I promise I won't surprise you with anything nasty. [He stretches out a hand, though it's not clear if he's actually offering it to her or just making a gesture.]

[cyan_maid]

[She blinks rapidly when Max returns, frowning a little.] You could have warned me a little earlier about how dense this is. [She'll take his hand, though. Feels pretty solid.]

[theundertaken]

I meeeeean, it's devil fog.

[He seems to think it was self-evidently very dense.

But okay, yeah. He'll take her hand and start to gently lead her along, talking all the while.] I remember there was another beach on the other side of this, in real life. Kinda the same as this one, but it would empty out a while down the shore. There's a military base down the coast from here - Cape Canaveral, actually, where they do the rockets?

[As they go, the fog gets so dense that even with his hand in hers and his voice quite close, Jane won't be able to see Max anymore. But after that, it starts to thin. They come out on a pier near the carnival, with the lighthouse they just passed now at the far end of the boardwalk from them.]

Now it just loops around like this. If you turn around, you can get back to the other side, but you can't go anywhere else.

[cyan_maid]

[The talking does help her out a bit, because for everything to be obscured by fog while you're walking? That's some scary shit. So her grip might tighten a little the further they go into the fog.]

Ah - yes, the rockets. Can't say I've ever been down to Florida to begin with...

[...Aaaaaaand now everything's weird.]

...Huh?

[theundertaken]

It's all like a big Moebius strip. Just turns in on itself again.

[Noticing her unease, Max squeezes her hand back, patting it with his free one.]

Really, this part's not bad at all once you're used to it. Saves time going from one end to the other!

[cyan_maid]

[Hahahah, unease, yes. So much fuckin unease.]

But...but that's...how?