jackabeelounge | SURPRISE YOU'RE DEAD

SURPRISE YOU'RE DEAD

Who: Jane Crocker and Max (OC, Airlocked R1)
Where: Deadland
When: TIME IS MEANINGLESS WHEN YOU'RE DEAD
Open/Closed: Closed
Rated: M for being dead and miserable and suicidal
What: Airlocked R1 AU - What if Jane died? TIME TO MEET THE CHAMPION PORTRAIT ARTIST

[...Well. Hell is a boardwalk in Florida. Who knew? Not Jane, at least - and not that she'd ever been to Florida to know that it's usually not as dilapidated. But hey, you don't choose where you go when you die.

At least, if you're lucky, you can choose how you go.

She'd gotten desperate, panicked. Frightened. And if her memories were anything to go by, it didn't really matter if she died, right? She was a walking corpse to begin with. There wasn't any use in sticking around...and, at least, no one would be thrown out of the airlock this week. Everyone would be safe for a little while longer. It was fine. Totally fine. Laying in this gritty, cool sand? Super fine. Hearing the ocean ebb and crash on the beach? Awesomely fine.]

...

[Jane spits a little sand out of her mouth.]

This...is a lot less fine than I thought it would be.

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[Max throws up his hands in a clear gesture of "fuck if I know".]

Not exactly my favorite thing!

...No offense, but I got the feeling.

[She flops back into the sand with a groan.] And the feeling's mutual!

[Max flops backwards in the sand as well. Let's just lie in the dirt and talk about how much we want to die!]

It took me forever to try killing myself when I first got here. I thought - [He snorts.] - I thought maybe the others would show up. I didn't want to die. It's just -

[Kinda funny, in retrospect. In a way that's sort of really not.]

[That's the best plan! This is how friendships are born amongst the damned.]

...It. Took me a couple of attempts to actually get the knife in. I'd forgotten how much it hurts to be stabbed.

[But it hurts. Oh, boy.]

Can - can we die here, too, Mister Max?

.......oh.

[...oh. He'd taken in that she showed up alone from the start, he guesses, but he wasn't on-site to watch the others appear; he'd thought perhaps her murderer would come in later. Max sighs, still staring up at the grey sky.]

Oh, hon.

[He's quiet for a moment. Hypocritical of him, given what he's just confessed, but at least he didn't feel like that when he was alive. And she's just a kid.]

Yeah, we can. But you just respawn, good as new. It doesn't stick.

[Yeah, you. When you don't want other people to die, that means you die. Hah. That's totally how it works.

She heaves out a breath.]

...Sounds like it gets boring after a while.

Yyyyyyyyeah.

[He takes his glasses off, setting them aside to press the heels of his palms into his eyes.]

There's a little more going on now, with all these new people. And I guess there's the centipedes, sometimes big centipedes come and eat me. Kinda seems like just me though, so you're good.

[...Oh God, she turns so pale that the content warning jettisoned itself out of the thread.]

Jesus Christ - please tell me you're joking, that's - that's not funny. That is so the opposite of funny.

[He flaps a hand in the air.]

Hey, don't worry about it. They won't bother you. Haven't bothered the other ones, anyway.

...Why?

[That's. Why have giant monster bugs only targeting one person that's fucking weird.]

Because this is my own personal hell, which I've somehow sucked you all into like a horrible black hole of a human being.

[Well, he says it with the utmost confidence.]

[Rolls her eyes.] I doubt you did it on purpose.

I wouldn't know how.

But it's kinda shitty that I wanted other people here in the first place. I know what it's like to be here.

...Well. You've...been existing here alone, I presume. Right? Then...maybe it's selfish, but it's understandable. I can't...really fault you for it.

[Selfishness is something she knows oh so well, Max.]

...I had Wilson.

[So. Yeah.]

God, though, I kinda miss before you guys started showing up. It's better for me, I guess, but you're all fucked. And...after no one else came, I thought...maybe the rest of them got out. I thought Jay and Bolt went home.

Besides Wilson.

[She's sure he was a Good Dog Companion but like. Bro. Sir. You need human companionship.]

...At least...at least you know for sure they're still surviving, now. And...I'm sure the others won't let them stay on the station forever. We - we've all been talking, Misters Jamie and Bolton and the rest of us. I'd like to think we're not so strange to each other anymore. And...surely, they'll get out of there. I...I think I'm going to believe it.

[I mean what the fuck else are you gonna do sweetie, you're dead]

I used to believe that. But I don't anymore. Best they can hope for is probably dying for real, so they never end up here.

[Max sighs.] I mean, being Overseers won't help. Whoever's forcing them to do it is just gonna keep a closer eye on them.

...Then I'll just have to believe it especially hard.

[Yeah no being dead hasn't taken that stubborn streak away in the least]

There must be a way to best them. We're all just...so very limited. Maybe there's something we missed.

[Maybe there's something she could have seen. Ugh, there goes the guilt, right in the heart.]

Maybe. Doesn't matter now - we can't do anything from here. Unless you can figure out how to become a ghost.

...[A shrug.] I guess if I find out something, you'll be the first to know. What with being king of Deadland, Florida and all.

[He chuckles slightly.]

I prefer King of Hell. I earned it, I beat Satan Mask in armed combat. And I was here first, so really it's mine anyway.

[...Well that answers one question she didn't know she needed to ask.]

Honestly, he has no claim to fight you over it. Finder's keepers, and all that.

I don't know if he would. I just bury him when he starts getting annoying.

[He sighs and starts pushing himself upright.] Ffffffuck, I used to know how to be an actual host. You wanna tour or something?

[Jane lets out a huff of laughter at that. Good plan, don't give the satan mask a single inch. He'll take miles.]

It's not like I expected a host after death. A...tour would be interesting, if you're up to it.

I'm the - [He snorts] - I'm the Ghost Host. Fuck, we should've been stuck at Disney.

[He starts to rise again, brushing the sand off his skin.]

Might as well. It'll eat up maybe an hour of our eternity of suffering. C'mon, Wilson. [He grabs Wilson. Wilson is coming.]

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cw: suicide

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cw: centipedes???

cw: centipedes indeed

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I've been waiting for you to use that icon :B

\o/