Call Me Out!

[cyan_maid]

Feel like threading something out with Jane? Homestuck's canon, AUs, taking place within a game she's had CR with one of your characters with, meme-type prompts, text conversations, or otherwise? Come at me, bros!

Just warn for anything like gore, smut, etc. in the title of your toplevel and let's get down to business!

Comments

[cyan_maid]

Oh! Uh...okay?
I guess if I can't know less than Light, it's got to be...something?
What's up, Kurumi?

[tasteslikesurvival]

i need romantic advice about stuff to do with Ricky
Lightning is
well she told me that i shouldn't ask the gay men about it

[cyan_maid]

Hmmm.
Well, I can agree on that point. Boys who kiss boys are pretty terrible at romantic advice, bless their hearts.
However, though I haven't really been in a relationship myself, I am also a girl, so I think I can help!
And if it's for Ricky, it'll be even easier!
Are you looking for date ideas?

[Jane...honey...]

[tasteslikesurvival]

i mean after the date

[cyan_maid]

Oooh.
Like...you want to invite her in for coffee?
I am not really the coffee person, Kurumi.

[JANE..............]

[tasteslikesurvival]

if i'm honest? neither am i. how the hell does bolton drink that shit day in and day out?

[cyan_maid]

I'm fairly certain he has an addiction. At least it's not like Togami with his ridiculous civet poop coffee? The man is constantly wired, but he has good taste.
So...wait. DO you want to invite Ricky in for coffee after a date?
Or do you want to have a sleepover date...after your normal date?

[tasteslikesurvival]

ugh i don't even want to think about civet poop coffee. he's literally drinking poop

uh. kind of?
you know. romantic touchy sleepover

1/?

[cyan_maid]

He really is.

2/?

[cyan_maid]

[Wait]

3/?

[cyan_maid]

[Wait what did she just]

4/?

[cyan_maid]

[oh]

5/6

[cyan_maid]

[oOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH]

6/6

[cyan_maid]

KURUMI I AM SORRY BUT I AM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL AND I CAN'T EVEN PLEASE MYSELF

[tmi jane]

[tasteslikesurvival]

I KNOW YOU'RE NOT

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

AND THAT WAS TMI

[cyan_maid]

I KNOW AND I'M SORRY!
UUUH UM
SHIT
OH GOD
PLEASE FORGET I SAID THAT AND PRETEND I AM TOTALLY SATISFIED AND OKAY WITH THE LACK OF ROMANTIC ENTANGLEMENTS I AM ENGAGED IN
UUUUUUH
HAVE YOU TRIED TOUCHING HER BOOBS???? I THINK THAT'S SUPPOSED TO WORK?

[tasteslikesurvival]

I KINDA DO WHEN WE HUG AND KISS DOES THAT COUNT
AND I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LACK OF ENTANGLEMENTS BUT AT THIS POINT IT MIGHT BE FOR THE BEST
CONSIDERING MY OWN PROBLEMS

[cyan_maid]

WELL I MEAN
I AM FAIRLY CERTAIN YOU HAVE TO BE NAKED???
OR AT LEAST ONLY PARTIALLY DRESSED?????
I AM NOT SURE HOW MANY BASES YOU ARE CONSIDERING GETTING TO FOR YOUR FIRST TIME BUT THE NAKED BOOB TOUCHING SHOULD BE LIKE GOING UP TO BAT?????

[tasteslikesurvival]

I'M NOT PLANNING ON GOING ANY FARTHER RIGHT NOW I JUST
WANTED TO KNOW IN GENERAL BECAUSE I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN THAT SHE WANTS ME TO TAKE THE LEAD
AND I WAS FAIRLY CERTAIN THAT I WAS STRAIGHT
I EVEN WANTED TO MARRY A GUY AND THIS IS JUST AWKWARD

[cyan_maid]

Ah, well, uh, sometimes...your heart leads you into places you never expected, so...
Well...
I think you can do it, Kurumi! Um, part of it is all about making sure you're both comfortable with what's happening, and you both consent, so, if you don't feel ready you shouldn't feel pressured into doing any naked boob touching or otherwise. Okay?
That way, you'll feel better while all the stuff happens.
And...I think part of it would entail experimenting. When you want to move on from, um, boobs, you can just...watch Ricky's reaction to...things? And if she seems to like it, you can do more of that.

[tasteslikesurvival]

right. right
it's uh
thanks, Jane. I didn't really want to make you uncomfortable.

so
um.
can we talk about coffee again?

[cyan_maid]

Uh
It's...okay.
At least you're not telling me about how you want to bang my Dad.

Yes, let's talk about coffee!
Coffee and coffee byproducts!!
I actually recently made some very nice ice coffee to enjoy whilst watching some comedy specials, it was lovely! I should definitely make you some next time.

[tasteslikesurvival]

[You know, she's not going to mention that first part. Dear god what has Jane gone through.]

yeah? i guess i could try that! what kind of comedy specials, anyway?

[cyan_maid]

[Roxy. The answer is most often Roxy.]

Golly, I haven't been too picky lately, so I've just been watching whatever's come out recently.
Mister Gabriel Iglesias has a really fun bit about meeting a lady at one of his shows who laughed so hard she gave herself a concussion.
But she's okay! She's actually okay. It wouldn't be funny if someone was seriously injured.

[tasteslikesurvival]

god! that sounds hilarious. at least she's okay but god. imagine laughing that much